The ultimate grooming checklist for the perfect client

The general mantra is: "the cleaner you are, the dirtier I'll be".

If you love passionate kisses:

  • Stay hydrated. Your saliva thickens when you're dehydrated. This impacts deep french kissing. Syrup-y saliva is a turn off.
  • Brush your teeth and tongue - preferably with an electric tooth brush. You should do this anyway, your teeth are with you for life! Invest in your health. The worst is when a client has visible plaque on his teeth *shudder*.
  • Make sure what you eat isn't pungent. If you don't care that much about kissing, eat all the onion rings and garlic bread you want! 
  • I am a non-smoker, please refrain from smoking directly before seeing me. Like I said, if you don't care that much for affectionate kisses, do as you please!
  • You get extra points if you chew gum before you see me or you can just use the mouth wash I provide you.

If you love deep throat and long, sensual BJs:

  • If you prefer au naturel pubic hair, shampoo it. Hair retains smell easier than bare skin. The best thing to do is to trim - shaving puts you at risk for cutting yourself and creating an open wound! 
  • If you're uncircumcised, remember to pull your foreskin down and clean there. Dick cheese is a real thing *shudders*. It's equally uncomfortable for me to ask you to have a repeat shower.

If you love cuddling and sensual play:

  • Wash underneath your armpits with soap. Body odour is sweat mixed with bacteria. It's okay to sweat, but if you're dirty you will smell. I lay my head down near where your armpit is, remember that.
  • Use an old tooth brush (or even better, a nail brush!) to clean underneath your fingernails. 
  • Moisturise your hands! Lots of clients love to play with my nipples. Certain professions result in very dry hands that feel like sandpaper! I have sensitive nipples, it won't take long for them to get sore!


  • Anywhere you have sprayed deodorant, I cannot lick. It leaves residue and a bitter taste.
  • I love the smell of cologne, but not when it rubs off on me. Apply it behind your ears. To get rid of the smell, I soap myself twice and use hand sanitiser. No one wants to see an escort that smells like another man!
  • Rub your face against your wrist, is your beard scratchy? If yes, use beard oil to soften it.
  • If you have stubble, please shave! If you don't want to, that's okay. This impacts being able to kiss my body or face because your face skims across my skin. If you have stubble it scratches instead of skims.  Don't worry, I will tell you gently if you're scratching me.
  • *Sigh* Wash between your butt cheeks, seeing a skid mark on my hotel-grade linen hurts my soul. Yes, this does happen. Yes, I am picky and bought Sheridan sheets. You deserve to be pampered.

Ciao for now!

- Valentina.