My mental diet to stay healthy

A collection of thoughts. I hope that if you implement some of the ways I think, you will be healthier in your day-to-day life. From working hard in the gym to letting go of your insecurities and realising it doesn’t matter that much at the end of the day.

MENTAL DIET FOR THE PHYSICAL DIET

I take a philosophical approach to dieting. I’m aware it makes me look more desirable, but using that as motivation is useless to me. I’ve tried to use it before and failed. It took some soul-searching to realise it’s because I don’t care. Dieting solely to look good is a vanity exercise which is not purposeful in of itself. Moving without purpose causes me to meander. I dislike it. I feel lazy.

What I do care for though, is strengthening my character and goal-setting. The stoics approach is to use dieting as an avenue to practise self-discipline. Not doing what you say you are going to do is to character assassinate yourself. Not exercising or eating properly is an act of self-harm. If you believe you are a disciplined person, then dieting isn’t difficult - at all. I am a vehement believer in “you choose your own problems”. If you want dieting to be difficult, it will be. If you don’t want it to be, it won’t. You will always find time to do what you must and if a situation is problematic, you will find a way to stay adaptable. Getting stronger and getting leaner to me is a measurable form of discipline. Simple steps to a simple goal. I enjoy achieving daily.

WORKING IN A NARCISSISTIC INDUSTRY

If your thought process towards your body is ill-designed and your dress size is a causation of income potential, you are going to run into a lot of problems quickly. This often happens in the industry. I’ve had to sit in the top escort agencies in Auckland and endure other sex workers who do everything they can to lose body fat, except eat less junk food and move more. From starving themselves to taking drugs — it’s awful. I hope that if you are a client and you read this, you will bite your tongue if an escort is a little bigger than you thought she would be. Incorrect or tricky advertising should not make you so angry that you decide to emotionally scar another with an impolite tongue or poisonous fingers.

I was never insecure working in such an environment — thankfully. You see, I was (and still am but not to such an overzealous state) an avid reader of books. You can live 100 different lives through books and have never left your house. The wisdom of those who came before me immunised me from socially engrained teachings that I must compete against other women for the attention of a man. I’ve walked away from a lineup and watched how dejected other women were from not being picked. I watched their self-esteem be chipped away. It wasn’t really self-esteem in the first place, more like other-esteem. Their viewpoints relied heavily on other people too much. 

While, yes, in a technical sense, if you put people next to each other to compare they are in competition, but I’ve never felt that way. I enjoy free choice. I enjoy that clients do whatever they want and I do whatever I want. To be upset someone didn’t choose me is to be possessive over another person. Being possessive over someone you’ve never met is bizarre. 

For the escorts who I know will read this: we are not made for the masses. Not everyone is supposed to like us and not everyone is supposed to be attracted to us. Do not bind your self-worth and identity to work so tightly that it fluctuates in conjunction with your income.

I’ve watched many escorts online be dragged and pulled down via anonymous channels like CuriousCat, review websites, texts, phone calls, e-mails and sparsely used Twitter accounts. Perhaps you’d be surprised to know I’ve received purposefully malicious attacks as well. I cull excessively and accept thoughtfully, not just clients but comments too. Stay focused on the wider picture and practise self-care devoutly. You have better things to think about.

FOR CLIENTS

I see and acknowledge your insecurities too. I am bombarded with messages all the time concerning your weight, scars, acne, disability, age, penis size… all with the underlying fear of, “Will I be enough for you?” It breaks my heart that you’ve been put in a position where you feel lesser than. Use your insecurities to filter out the bad people in your life and filter in the good people in your life. If an escort or another person makes you feel bad over something superficial forget her completely. It is more important to be kind than it is to be handsome. It is more important to be nurturing than it is to be beautiful. Perhaps you don’t feel that way, but know that I do. Understand that I accept clients on the basis of respect, without having seen what they look like. I do not ask for age, I do not ask for race, I do not ask for anything other than for you to be polite. I respect and admire virtuous people. My attention doesn’t waver.

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